I've got skills...?

My recent romps in the job market have caused me to re-evaluate my skill set. I think I might have a future with one or more of my untapped talents. Tell me what you think.

1. Gomez, PI
Some may call it stalking or even creepy, but those people have no sense of adventure (actually, I think they are just jealous that they can't do it). Really, do you know how much someone can find out about you online? It's frightening. I, however, do not use this power on those nearest and dearest to me...that would be weird. But it's not just people...I can find anything. There was the one occasion when I failed, but how was I supposed to find a song based on these facts: 1. male singer/singers, 2. a lyric about love. I found about a billion...just not the right one.
In all honesty though, isn't it good to be able to find an array of information when required. I think so...especially since my field is heavily dependent on research. One of my past jobs required me to find the most random things (a jock strap and car boot...for free). It's probably best not to ask why, but I did it. With the right spin and proper marketing, I could get a job with this, right? (Schmee thinks I should work for Google)

2. Witty Banter
This is my blessing and my curse. Apparently, I can come across as "mean" to some...to these people I apologize profusely...my intent is not to hurt. I usually have about 3 responses to any given statement, each with different humorous endings. If only there was a way to play out all 3 conversations in some sort of time vortex...if only. I often give PJ great comebacks to conversations I wasn't even a part off (hopefully, she doesn't find that irritating). So next time you're stumped and need something witty to say, or even sarcastic, give my toll-free hotline a call (1-800-I Need a Comeback).

There are more "skills," but those will be for a later post. So what do you think? What should I do with my skill set? Agree? Disagree? Sufficiently creeped out?

Better yet: What are your untapped skills? (I accept legit skills, as well as ones similar to the above).